I am soooo glad to have you join me for this 5-day adventure of finding ways to invite more joy into your life. 

Be sure to check your email for the login & password information so you can come back to continue adding joyful and joy-filled activities to your daily routine.

Over these 5 videos, you’ll see how your choices and actions may be sucking away the opportunities to experience joy, happiness, and fulfillment in your life.

Go to the Day 1 video now.

Transcript

Hey there, I'm Donna Doyon.

This is Day 1 of my 5 day video series, "The Missing Piece: How to fit more joy into your seemingly perfect life."

Now, what do I mean by "seemingly perfect life"? Well, this is when people would look at you and say, "You have it all."

When you look at your life, and you say, "I pretty much have it all."

But you know inside, there's this niggling, restlessness... this dissatisfaction. You're not quite sure where it comes from.

If you were to rate it, you'd say, "I'm 90% happy. But what about the 10%? Is it wrong for me to want more? Is it selfish of me to want more? Is there more?"

And over the course of the next five days, we are going to answer that question.

And okay, I'm not gonna make you wait.

Yes, there is more! There is most definitely more!

We live our seemingly perfect lives, and so many of us we struggle with that, because in our hearts it hurts. Because we've realized something is missing, but we don't know what it is.

And so over the next five days, we're going to talk about that.

And I'm going to share some ideas and some thoughts I have on the topic. And hopefully they'll resonate with you.

How we're going to do this is, okay brace yourself, move your hand away from the mouse! We do not want you clicking away right now, because I'm going to say something that's scary. Okay.

We are going to talk about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Okay don't click... don't click...

Really we are going to keep this super simple. You are not going to feel bored. You are not going to feel overwhelmed.

This is all common sense stuff.

And it's the stuff that's keeping us awake at night. It's the stuff that's sucking the joy out of our lives. Even worse it's the stuff that is keeping us from allowing... from inviting... more joy into our daily life.

So that's what we are going to cover over the next five days.

And at the end of this program, you are going to have a greater sense of the decisions you're making, and how they impact your outlook on life.

We are going to talk about some of the feelings of dissatisfaction that you may be feeling, and how to overcome those. I believe in creatively expressing ourselves.

And we're going to go into that more -- and I hear a plow truck going by. I'm sorry that distracted me –

So this is going to be a great five-day experience for all of us. We are going to learn a little bit more about ourselves. We're going to learn to love ourselves a little bit more. And more importantly, we are going to start looking at the things that bring us joy. And we're going to start spending more time and energy focused on those things, without totally messing up everything else.

You see when I thought about hierarchy -- about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs a week ago, a lightbulb went on for me. And I just felt like I had the answer to why so many people have midlife crises. Why so many people are living the seemingly perfect life, and then they go and they do something so boneheaded.

You know, they may have an affair. They may buy an outrageously expensive sports car, that they can only drive two or three months out of the year, but it puts the family at financial risk. They may decide to quit the high paying, but high-stress job.

And they're just throwing their lives in turmoil, and it's just sucking all of the joy out of their lives. It's ruining other people's lives, their relationships.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs has the answers for us and so we're going to look at some of the decisions were making. How we can make other decisions to improve our conditions, so that we can just, in these you know, we have been on this earth long, and we are ready to explore and expand who we are and what we contribute to the earth.

And this is where I just want, <sing “Ahhhhhh”>, there are wonderful things out there for each of us and today's the first day of your journey.

I am so glad you're here.

So today, I would love to know something that brings you joy. When I say... When I ask the question, "What brings you joy?" what's the first thing that pops into your mind.

Please leave a comment below and let me know, so that we can share each other's joy.

And I will see you tomorrow, where we are going to start at the top of the pyramid.

We are going to start with the answer. I'm not going to make you wait until day five to hear the answer. Tomorrow, you'll hear the answer. "What is the missing piece?"

I'll see you tomorrow.

Go to the Day 2 video now.

Transcript

Hey there, it's Donna Doyon, with Day 2 of "The Missing Piece: How to invite more joy into your seemingly perfect life."

Now if you didn't watch yesterday's video, which I gave an overview of what you can expect in these five days, I would invite you to go back and watch that first. I'll put a link in the description, so that you'll be all set, okay? And then come back and watch this one.

Today I'm going to give you the secret... The Missing Piece.

And I'm going to see if I can technologically do this... but insert a picture of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs into this video, so that you'll hear my voice over. If I'm not able to figure that out, then I will just post a copy of the picture in the comments below this, so you can actually see the visual representation of his Hierarchy of Needs.

Okay, but for now, I want you to just picture a triangle. And at the very top of the triangle, there is the place that Maslow identified as Self-Actualization.

This is the missing piece. Okay? You got that?

I told you, yesterday, that I would give you the answer today. The missing piece is self-actualization.

And you may be saying, "Okay Donna, I don't remember this from high school or college psychology class. What is self-actualization?"

I am so glad you asked.

You see, self-actualization is that sense of knowing who you are, what your place is in this world, what you can contribute to the world. And it's just that essence of expressing yourself... creatively, intellectually. It's understanding and feeling comfortable asking the questions of why things work the way they do. Why they don't.

It's being able to see beauty and express beauty. It's being able to see so many different people... cultures... ways of life... and being able to accept them, as just being what they are, rather than placing judgment... rather than trying to change everyone else...

It's being so comfortable with who you are, you don't need to worry about everyone else.

It is an amazing place to live. That's the missing piece.

Wow, that was a lot -- a lot of energy and enthusiasm in just a few seconds. I think I took one breath.

But seriously, this is the part of your life that will bring you the joy.

If 90% of your life is good... if you have a decent paying job, you pay your bills on time, you have a place to live, you have food on the table, you have good strong relationships, and everything seems to be good, but you're staying awake at night with that nagging feeling... that restlessness I talked about yesterday... that sense of dissatisfaction, asking "Is there more? I want more. Is it selfish? Is it wrong for me to want more? Look at all of the great things I have
in my life. I want more."

And I'm picturing Ariel, The Little Mermaid in the Disney cartoon saying, "I want more" and it's not wrong.

That's where your dreams come true!

When you're looking for that place where there's more, this is where we step out of the roles that we have been assigned all our lives. Instead of being child, sibling, student, employee, spouse, parent, and whatever, community member, church member -- all of these roles that we fill in our lives and they encompass our entire being.

So many times we forget self.

What do you want? What do you dream about? How do you express yourself? What brings you joy?

Are you giving yourself time every day to stop and listen and watch the birds at the bird feeder that's outside your window? You put the bird feeder out there because you love hearing the birds. You love watching the birds. You don't mind that the birds poop everywhere. But how much time do you spend watching the birds?

So you'll put things in place to experience the joy, but then you won't stop and experience it.

And so that's what I'm inviting you to do today... to open your heart... open your day... open your time... open your energy... to be a little bit more creative to express your creativity.

And whether that's picking up a musical instrument that's gathered dust and just playing a few notes... refreshing it and whether you are fluent at it or not -- is fluent the right word for playing a musical instrument -- I know it is for language -- but whether you are, you know really proficient at it, or if you just kind of tap at the keyboard... the the keys on a piano keyboard, but it brings you joy... because you say, "oh, I was making music." And it's a great feeling.

Explore that... think about your childhood and the things that made you excited... the things that had you jumping up and down so much that your mom thought you were gonna pee your pants. Bring some of those things back into your life.

Whether it's doodling on your notebook, sure you're in a planning meeting at work, doodle in your workbook. Write down the names of your old crushes. Remember way back with Tiger Beat and Teen Beat. And we had all of those teen heartthrobs. I'm sure they have them today, but it's all online. But David Cassidy, Shaun Cassidy, Bobby Sherman, Davy Jones. Do you remember writing their names in the big, fat letters? And then you would color in the letters with, with dots, and with stripes, and with stars. And you dreamed of marrying them?

Allow yourself to express your ideas and your creativity that way again.

Just doodle. Draw circles, draw spirals, stars, boxes. Draw cartoon characters. Sing, dance, dance like no one's watching... to your own beat. It's amazing to just allow yourself to express.

So, feeling free to express yourself, enjoying that sense of who you are. Feeling confident that there's no judgement against you, because you have no judgment against anyone else. It's powerful. And that's the missing piece.

So today I would love to know what you can do to creatively express yourself. What's something you can share just with yourself, or with the world?

Please leave that in your comments.

And then tomorrow we are going to go down a level in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and we are going to go to the Psychological Needs. This is where we spend a lot of our time and our energy, that we could be saving for those joyful moments and experiences.

So, I will see you tomorrow.

Go to the Day 3 video now.

Transcript

Hey there, I'm Donna Doyon with Day 3 of "The Missing Piece: How to invite more joy into your seemingly perfect life."

Now yesterday, we talked about the highest level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs... self-actualization. That IS the missing piece.

So, if you didn't see that video yet, I encourage you to go back and watch that, as well as Day 1, if you haven't seen that yet. I will put links to those videos in the description below.

So today, we are going to be talking about the next two levels down. These are the psychological needs.

Now the higher one, just underneath self-actualization, is the need for self esteem and the esteem of others. And what that's talking about is understanding, and appreciating, and respecting, and acknowledging, who you are, and loving yourself anyway. Fairly simple. If you're always looking at yourself, and you're judging, and you're criticizing, and you're saying you're a failure, that is not a sign of healthy high esteem. And that's something to work towards, because if you're always beating yourself up, it's really hard to find joy in anything. Number one, you're not going to feel like you deserve it.

The other aspect of esteem, is the esteem in the respect of others. And this is something that you find when people tell you, "Wow! You're really good at something." And many times, we just knock it off, and we say, "Anyone could do that." Trust me, anyone could not do the things that you're skilled at, you're talented at. They come so easily to you, you take them for granted.

I know this to be true. Because I have a friend, that she can put together an amazing meal experience. She has the dishes. She has the napkins. She has the lighting, just right. And not to mention, that the food is perfectly cooked. And it's all finished at the same time. She plates it beautifully. It is worthy of, you know, a five-star restaurant. And she does this in her home.

Can I do that? Not if you want everything done at the same time... if you're not happy eating off of my chipped plates, go somewhere else. That's not one of my interests. That's not one of my talents. But she takes it for granted. She doesn't see it as a special way for her to bring people together... friends and family members, co-workers. It's one of her gifts and she oversees--she overlooks it.

And so seeing how other people view you... listen to their comments, and don't just disregard them. Don't dismiss them, as they're just being nice. Because they're telling you the truth. They're telling you what you're good at... what your strengths are.

And you can use those to build up your own confidence, and your own esteem.

The next level in that psychological needs is the need for love... for belonging. This includes romantic love. It includes friendships. It includes family. It includes being a part of your community, part of your church.

These are all the things that -- I'm an introvert. I love my alone time. But even I like being out around people sometimes. I like knowing that I'm part of a group. Computers in the online world makes it so much easier for me, and not because it's all anonymous. But it's just I'm not in a room where people are taking my energy from me. But I get to enjoy their company, their knowledge, their talents.

So, that sense of belonging, is crucial to us.

But what we do, what we do, to keep us from reaching self-actualization, that higher stage, the missing piece...

What we do, is we create, invent, or worry about the various dramas that can happen in that psychological level. We worry whether someone likes us. We worry when we have to ask someone to do something. If they're going to be mad at us. We think someone looked at us funny, and we think that they're mad at us. Or we think that someone did something and so we're mad at them.

And so we instill all of this drama, that just it just ties up our brain. It keeps us worried. It keeps us focused on trying to meet those, those needs for belonging... for liking ourselves, for trusting and having confidence in ourselves, and the needs for having the respect and the, the trust from other people.

We start worrying about so many things. We relish in the drama. It gives us something to do. It takes our mind off of things, takes our mind off of our joy. Keeps us distracted. It keeps us focused on negatives rather than positives.

So, don't fall into that trap, when something is going awry with your relationships, with the way that you think someone might be perceiving you, pull up your big-girl panties, and go have a conversation. Ask the questions. Say, "You know, I'm feeling things are a little off with us right now. Can we try to fix... figure things out and fix them?" And depending on their response, that will give you some direction to go. But if you just stew over it, and you just worry about it, it's giving you a hit on your self-esteem... potentially giving a hit on your--the esteem that others feel towards you.

It's definitely impacting your sense of belonging.

And so, when you're focused on those, you're not enjoying the wonderful things in life. You're not enjoying the laughter that your friend has, because you think there's some kind of a rift there. May not be. Might be your imagination. And so you're cutting yourself off from the people that can bring you joy.

So today, I would love to know how your relationships are. Think of one person, you don't have to name the person, you certainly don't have to tag them, so that they see this... but just think of one person, where you think there might be some discomfort there. Might be a distance in your relationship. There may actually be a real estrangement and then think about how your life would change, and how much joy you could experience, if you repaired that. It's powerful.

So that's what I would encourage you to think about today.

And for a bonus challenge... is actually take action to address that... that difficulty, in that relationship. Okay?

Because our relationships, our sense of being, our sense of belonging, that all keeps us from feeling the joy that we can. From totally committing ourselves to what's out there in the world.

So tomorrow, we are going to go even lower on Maslow's pyramid of -- Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs... that pyramid...and we're going to go down into the Basic Needs and see how our decisions are impacting our levels of joy there.

So, I will see you tomorrow.

Go to the Day 4 video now.

Day 4 Transcript

Hey there, I'm Donna Doyon. It's Day 4 of "The Missing Piece: How to invite more joy into your seemingly perfect life."

Now yesterday, we talked about our need to belong and the need for self-esteem, positive healthy self-esteem, as well as the respect, and the esteem of others. So, if you didn't watch that video yet, I would encourage you to go back and watch that one, and any other videos you missed in the series. I'll put links for those in the description.

Today, we are going to focus on the bottom section of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. We are going to focus on the Basic Needs.

Now this encompasses the safety and the security that we feel. Now safety, that's feeling safe on our jobs. It's feeling safe in our homes, in our neighborhoods and community. It's feeling like we don't have to worry about getting hurt with everything that we do.

And then the security aspect of it... that includes financial security. Now, you have a good job. You're making...you're paying all of your bills on time You have food on your table, shoes on your feet.

So you're not really worried about your financial situation. Occasionally, things may come up, where you're living paycheck to paycheck, but for the most part, you have a good grasp on your financial situation. You have some savings or a lot of savings. You have money set aside for
retirement, so you don't have to worry about that, in the grand scheme of things.

We also include our health, our physical conditioning, in this. This is very much our body. What we're eating. What we're doing for exercise. What our weight is.

This is something that more people have a challenge with. And in America obesity is on the rampage. There are so many health-related diseases that are just really destroying our population. It's destroying our opportunities to experience life to the fullest, because we have these physical limitations.

And this is something I'm very familiar with. Well, it's been two years now and I started the process of losing 50 pounds. And what a difference it made. I didn't even really, really see how overweight I was. Or how much that extra weight was impacting what I could do. It's amazing!

Our bodies are what are housing us here. They're what's holding us in place. And anything we want to accomplish, we need a healthy body to do it.

But this isn't a lecture on your health and your fitness and your food choices, I promise. What I would like to say here, though, is that we all have choices.

And so if you are worried about your health, if you're worried about how much exercise, or how little exercise, you have. If you're worried about your food choices, about your weight... it's up to you to take action. You can mitigate the amount of time you spend fretting over those things, by taking action. [It] doesn't have to be huge action. Doesn't have to be dedicating an hour or two hours a day to the gym. It doesn't have to be cutting out all of the good foods, you like to eat. But you can make healthier choices.

The same with your finances. If you are spending time worried about your finances, make different choices.

But even if you accept where you are you, accept that you're 30 or 40 pounds overweight, you're fairly inactive. If you accept that you live paycheck to paycheck and you've been doing it that way for decades, then that's your choice. And you can live that way. No judgments.

But... you knew there was a "but" coming... I know that you did.

But if you are still spending time and energy focusing on your financial situation or your health, you are stealing the joy. You're stealing the missing piece. That self actualization time, because you're not fully accepting who you are. You are not accepting your unique gifts and talents, because you're focusing on something that's a lower level priority.

And in just five minutes a day you can make changes to your financial status, to your health status.

You can start to lose weight in five minutes a day. Well, hmmm, you can start to become more physically fit in five minutes a day. You can start to lose weight by just eating 100 or 200 calories fewer a day. Did you know that the difference in number of calories a woman needs, who weighs 130 pounds versus one who weighs 160 pounds, is 200 calories a day, approximately. So, if you're eating a candy bar every day and you cut out that candy bar, given time, you will drop down to 130 pounds. If nothing else changes. How cool is that?

So, you can make small changes on a daily basis, to release the stress and the worry, that's holding you back, in those areas of security. Because feeling secure is the second highest or the, yes, the second most basic need, that we have. We are going to focus our energy on it, because it's that critical to our survival... to our being. It's important to our happiness. Okay? Lecture over. Maybe. Okay.

So the very bottom layer is the basic physiological needs.

This is food, water, shelter, sleep. Those very basic things that most of us don't even have to think about. We have safe drinking water. We have so many food choices, it's, it's ridiculous. We have a warm place to live. So we don't even really have to worry about those needs.

But those are the basic needs. And if we're spending a lot of time focused at that lowest level of hierarchy, of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, we don't have time to experience the joy.

But luckily, we don't have to completely meet the needs at one level, in order to start expanding into the higher levels.

So at the very base of these basic needs of safety/security: food, water, shelter, and once you have a good grip on those, whether they're perfect or not, you can start elevating and worrying about and focusing on your relationships, on your confidence, on your self-esteem, your respectability, your responsibility, who you are, how people view you, not because they're judging you, but because they see you in high regard. They know your contributions to make the world a better place, to make the workplace a better place, to make the family a better
place.

And then we can spend more time in that upper triangle, the self-actualization peace. This is where most of your joy is going to come from. It's being aware of what makes you happy. Freely expressing it, so that even in the worst moments, when you're struggling, because you ran out of heating oil, and it's cold, and you have no heat. But because so many of your other needs are met, you can gather with friends and you can find something to laugh about, as you're playing cards over candlelight, as you're eating, you know, canned tuna fish, and, and carrots.

But you can find joy in so many moments, instead of focusing on worrying about those things.

So today, I would love to know what your thoughts are about your financial situation, as well as your health situation. Do you spend a lot of time thinking about them? Saying, "Oh, I should... oh, I shouldn't buy this cup of coffee." "Oh, I should go for a walk at lunchtime." If you are spending a lot of time focused on those areas, you can take action for them.

So I would love to know what areas you're struggling with in that safety/security/health/
physical condition area and just share that in the comments below.

And then tomorrow, we are going to do an overview and just a summary of what you've learned. And then also some ideas for how you can bring more joy into your life.

And I almost forgot that... so, today to bring more joy into your life, what I would love for you to do is look around you, and see if you can experience some sensation of the various elements. We have water, fire, wind, and air.

So, I live here in Maine, USA and going outside, it's very cold and so experiencing the cold air, blowing my breath out, and being able to watch my breath. And then if it's a windy day you see it, just see it blow away. You may be at home and it may be cold and you have a fire in the fireplace. And just sit and spend a few minutes looking at the fire. How it jumps around. How a breeze can impact it. Or if you're around water... I always say one of my favorite things is hand washing dishes, because the sound of the water, the feel of it over my hands, to me that's just a multi-sense experience.

So, go outside, stay inside, experience the elements and find joy in them. Because they're just as much a part of you, as you are.

So, I will see you tomorrow on Day 5.

Go to the Day 5 video now.

Day 5 Transcript

Hey there, it's Donna Doyon, with Day 5 of "The Missing Piece." This 5-day series has been about how to help you invite more joy into your daily life.

And I hope you've benefited from the trip through Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It's been a great adventure, and hopefully you've had a few "a-ha" moments.

Because what we're talking about here, is when we have, what we think, and what others looking at us would say, "You know, you've got it all. You have it made. This is, this is the good life." Yes, it is a very good life.

But we know that there's a little bit missing. And we feel unsettled. We feel restless. We feel disappointed. We're in our 50s or so, and we're thinking, "Is this all there is? How much time do I have left? How many good, strong, healthy years, do I have left?"

Sometimes, we're--we're--we're wondering am I going to have enough money to even retire? Can I take care of living the carefree, adventurous, traveling life that I want?

And so, we start to focus on the things that we need to work on. We focus on the things that are missing from our life.

We start thinking about, "Wouldn't it be so much easier, if I just ran away? I'm gonna run away to Vegas. I'm going to win big on the slot machines and all of my problems will be solved." "I'm going to go out to the store, and I'm going to buy a new outfit complete with purse, because that will solve my problems." "I am going to eat my heartache, and eat my frustrations, because in the moment it feels good."

But then the moment ends, and the credit cards come due, and the slots don't pay off, but yet you have these great expenses for your traveling expenses.

Those are the types of things that people do when they're feeling that sense of dissatisfaction.

The mid-life crisis.

Suddenly someone starts paying a little bit of attention to you and you start thinking, "Oh well, there's some excitement over there. A little bit of passion. A little bit of romance. Things aren't the same with my husband as they used to be. So maybe I'll just go see if I'm missing out."

And people are throwing away 20, 30-year marriages just on a whim. Because there's this sense of dissatisfaction. That sense that there's something more.

You can find more. You can bring more into your life. You can be that explorer, that adventurer, that creative person you want to be. And your partners and your family and your friends... they're going to support you with this.

But here's the thing... part of it is you need to let them know what you're struggling with, and what you want to do about it.

Now, I am in no means suggesting you go up to your husband and say, "Honey, you know there's no spark in our relationship anymore, so I've really been attracted to this guy over here. I don't want to do that, but... so, I'm gonna take up cross-stitching instead."

Not a good idea. However, you can approach your husband and say, "Honey, I feel like there's a separation between us. Can we start having a date night again? We used to do that years ago. Can we go out on dates?" And see what the response is. And hopefully, it's an encouraging one.

And hopefully, you will hold him to it. Because it can be so easy to get caught up in that pattern of sameness... the routines... the habits that we have. And we forget. And sometimes it's just those senior moments that happen, as we get to our age, and we just forget. It's not part of our normal.

So just because your husband forgets that you were going to go out on Saturday night, and he comes in from mowing the lawn, or doing whatever chores, and he sits down. A gentle reminder--not a nag--just a gentle reminder, "Honey, I was looking forward to this. Can we do it?" Take ownership for who you are, what you add to the relationship. But also be willing to say you have needs as well. Rekindle that romance, sit together in front of the fire, and just stare at it. Okay, you may have to slap his phone out of his hand, and he may have to slap yours out of your hand, because you heard that little jingle.

Make it a practice to take care of your deepest needs.

So that you can look at your seemingly perfect life and say, "Yeah, I've got the perfect life." Because my basic needs are met. I feel safe and secure. I feel like I belong. And I like myself, other people like me and then I am taking the time to explore who I am... to creatively express myself. "Life is good!"

And that's my wish for you.

But before we go today, today your moment of joy, I want you to dig deep into your thoughts, into your heart, that's where the joy is, and think about something that brings you such pleasure... where it just radiates from you... and then tell me about that in the comments below.

I look forward to talking to you soon. Bye.

Take the Next Step now.

I hope you gained a bit of insight into what's keeping you from feeling the incredible joy that is missing in your life.

The clients I work with are ready to ditch the doubts and fears that have kept them from honoring their deep soul-level calling to do something amazing in the world. They hire me to call bullsh*t on their endless list of excuses and teach them how to rewire their brains so they can grow in confidence and certainty of their vision and finally start doing what they came here to do.

If you are ready to experience the joy of answering your Heart's Calling, but don't know how to get started... email me at hello@donnadoyon.com. We'll schedule a time to chat about your vision and whether working together will help you make it your reality.