Donna Doyon Gilbert
  • Home
  • |
  • Blog
  • |
  • Ep113: Finding Peace in the Quiet

“All I want is some peace and quiet!”

We claim to want it, but yet we don’t allow it into our lives.

In fact, most of us never even extend the invitation.

This week I talk about meditation and how it continues to help me find my way.


Show Notes:

Glow - a collection of short, wisdom-filled stories

Glow - a collection of short, wisdom-filled stories

My book Glow: Renew Your Spirit & Release Your Inner Beauty is available on Amazon.


Karen Creamer, Metaphysical Nurse, recently shared tips on meditation on her Facebook page.

Watch Karen's video


These are the cards drawn from the Magical Times Empowerment Cards by Jody Bergsma.

Jody Bergsma - Magical Times Empowerment Cards

Read the Transcript

Note: This is a computer-generated transcript. That means it's pretty good, but not perfect. If you read something weird or confusing, first laugh, then use the time stamp to hop into the podcast to find out what I REALLY said. 

[00:00:02.930]

Welcome to another episode of Finding My Way, a podcast dedicated to sharing the scattered thoughts and muddled musings of this 50 something year old woman. Each week I'll share my experiences, challenges, doubts, and fears, as well as the lessons I've learned that keep me moving forward toward my dreams. And yes, this is the podcast that was formerly known as Reflections of a Recovering Ugly Duckling. This is episode 113, and I'm your host, Donna Doyon. When you think about meditating, what images, what feelings does that just the word evoke in you? Do you think, oh yes, I get to go to my quiet, happy place? Or do you think, OOH, that feels so overwhelming, so daunting, to try to silence my mind. I tend to fall in the latter category. For me, the word meditation just feels very heavy and very weighted. But I have been practicing meditation for the last few months and it really makes a difference. I look forward to my daily practice, which is about eight to ten minutes every day. So it's not a huge sitting in silence for 2 hours, 3 hours. No, that's not what meditation is about for me.

[00:01:22.790]

And the thing that's cool about meditation is you can make it work however you want it to work. So it's kind of funny that lately meditation and the concept of meditation has been coming up for me in many different forms. Last night I watched a video that Karen Kremer, the Metaphysical Nurse, did on a Facebook Live, and she talked about meditation, and she offered a great tip that I'm going to share a little bit later in the program. Meditation has been coming up in the books that I'm reading, and I was just recently thinking about one of the stories I wrote in my book, Glow. The story is called The Ugly Duckling. Now here's an excerpt from it. Once upon a time, near a little pond, in a little park, in a little town, lived a duckling. But she wasn't an ordinary duckling. She looked different from the other ducklings in her family, and on the pond she was large, awkward, and her feathers were shaggy and Gray. She knew she was different, and sometimes it didn't bother her. Sometimes she was content to swim quietly by herself rather than frolic loudly near the water's edge with the others.

[00:02:33.200]

But sometimes, more than anything, she wanted to be just like them. Sometimes she wished she had the same cute Waddle they had when they followed their mother around the park. Sometimes she wished she could make a melodic cracking sound like they did, rather than the hoarse trumpeting sound that was her voice. Some of the other Ducks teased her. Some felt sorry for her. Some of the other ducklings didn't want her to join them for swims and invited her only when their mothers made them. Before long, the ugly ducklings spent more time wishing she was like the others than being comfortable and content with who she was. Some days she admired the beautiful and graceful Swans that lived across the pond and wished she could be like them. She knew she was different. She knew she didn't fit in. Her self esteem sank deeper and deeper until it settled into the muck at the bottom of the pond. Then one day she swam off by herself. When she was far from the others, she stopped paddling her feet and let herself float on the water. She hung her head in lonely despair and stared into the water's depth.

[00:03:41.870]

Her eyes focused on the image floating on the water's surface. What she saw astonished her. She looked over her shoulder to see if a Swan had swum up beside her. But she was alone. She lowered her eyes to the water again. She studied the reflection in the glassy surface. How come she never saw this before? How come she didn't know she was a Swan? Why didn't anyone tell her? She had no answers. With a happy flap of her wings, she turned back toward the others and started swimming for home. She paused and looked once again at her reflection. The lovely image was gone. In its place was the same ugly face she'd seen for most of her life. Her feet stilled. Her heart grew heavy with despair. What had happened to the beautiful Swan she saw? Was it all a trick of the water? As she pondered these questions, the rippled water began to smooth. The distortions melted away. Soon she was looking once more at the beautiful face of a Swan. She crossed the pond toward home, entertaining herself by watching how different actions affected her image. She'd paddle furiously, then look at her distorted reflection.

[00:04:56.810]

She'd sit quietly to watch. As the water calmed, she'd brush her wing across the water or take a small flight and watch what happened. As she landed. She even glided over to where a fish had just jumped from the water. Each time she repeated the exercise, the same thing happened when the water stilled. She saw a Swan. Excited about her discovery, she went home to tell her mother. As she neared the water's edge, she watched the other Ducks, her siblings and peers. The old feelings of doubt flooded her mind. She looked at the water. Her image was wavy and distorted. If I just sit here, she told herself, the water will smooth out again. I am always a Swan, no matter what my reflection shows. She swam past them, suddenly aware that their feathers were no longer the soft, fuzzy yellow of youth. They were now a brilliant white like her mother's. She climbed onto land and settled at her mother's side. Mom, I have something to tell you, she began. You know I love you, but I just realized I'm not a duck. I'm a Swan. I know, honey, the mother duck replied. You do?

[00:06:07.540]

Why didn't you tell me? I thought you knew. You always told me. I was like the other Ducks. I thought that's what you wanted, the mother said. You've always tried so hard to fit in, and I didn't want you to think I loved you any less because you're a Swan. The young Swan considered this, then bobbed her head with understanding. But now I need to be a Swan. I need to be myself. I know, the mother duck said. But don't forget that I love you. And don't forget to visit. I won't, mum. I love you. After saying goodbye to her brothers, sisters, and the Ducks she grown up with, she returned to the water, pushed off with her large, webbed feet, arched her long, graceful neck, and boldly trumpeted her glee, she glided across the water and began a new life by finally becoming herself. Before I go any further, so I don't forget. Yes, this story was based on the Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale of the same name. In both stories, in order for the Swan to realize who she truly was, to find her way, she needed to grow quiet. She needed to stop the chaos.

[00:07:20.870]

She just needed to be. And that's so important in our lives as well. Our lives are so hectic so crazy busy. We allow them to get that way. And then we say, oh, if only I had a little peace and quiet. The problem is, we say we want it, but we don't allow it into our lives. Most of us don't even extend the invitation. So today I want to talk a little bit about inviting meditation, a meditation practice, into your daily life. I'm reading the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. In the third section, she's focusing on her experiences in Indonesia, and she was learning from a man named Ktuk Liar and he was a healer. They're talking about meditation. When Elizabeth Gilbert was in India, she was at an ashram for studying yoga and meditation and becoming more spiritual. But she had a problem with monkey mind. The chatter just kept continuing, so she struggled with the meditation practice. And Ktut Liar, he made it so easy and simple. He said, oh, you overcomplicate things. You make it difficult. All you need to do is sit in silence and smile. This means put your phone away, turn off the music, turn off the TV, turn off anything that is manmade noise as much as you can.

[00:08:49.500]

Just sit in silence and smile. And I love the beauty of his saying, smile. When I'm meditating, when I am getting ready to use my Oracle cards or my tarot cards, I feel this joy welling up from inside of me in that moment of connection. And I smile. And I'm sitting there in my bedroom feeling like a fool because I've got a smile on my face, but it feels so good. I feel so connected with who I am when I do that. So this week, I encourage you. No, I challenge you take five minutes every day to sit in quiet to find the peace in your quiet. And here are some ideas, some tips for dealing with the monkey mind chatter that's going to happen. This is a new skill you are developing. So the first thing you can do is those voices in your head, they're going to be activated. They're not used to the quiet. We have so much chaos and busyness in our daily lives. We don't know what to do with the quiet and the stillness. Acknowledge those voices, those worries that pop into your head about what you could be doing.

[00:09:59.500]

You know, instead of just sitting here, you could be starting a load of laundry. Instead, just acknowledge it. Say, yes, I know. I'll get to it in five minutes. You could be using this time to go for your daily walk. That's one that gets me sometimes. And I say, I know, but I'll get to that. When I'm done meditating. Meditation time for me has become one of my non negotiables. I build time for it into my day. It's one of the first things that I do because it's so important to me. In fact, this morning, as I was preparing to record this podcast episode, typing up my notes, I took a moment away from what I was doing. Well, I had finished up all of the notes that I wanted, and I intentionally held off my meditation time until after I had prepared all of my notes for today and kind of run through my mind what I wanted to talk about and what order because I wanted to use my Oracle cards to see if I was missing something. And amazingly enough, they didn't let me down. I don't know why I'm still amazed by that, but I still am.

[00:11:03.900]

And it's just this wonderful gift from the universe. It's like at Christmas time or your birthday or just a random day when someone gives you something, you say, oh my gosh, that is exactly what I wanted. And the tarot cards and the Oracle cards, that's what they give me every day. I have never opened the deck and shuffled the deck and meditated over the deck, made my request and pulled a card that was the equivalent of socks. It's never happened. Today, I pulled out my Magical Times empowerment cards by Jody Bergzma. As I was shuffling the cards, one of the cards jumped out. That just means it fell out of the deck. No real explanation. And one thing I've heard is that when that happens, it's just a special card to pay attention to. So I set that one aside for a moment, continued shuffling and pulled a card. The card that I drew after asking the universe the question, what piece am I missing? Is there something I'm missing in what I want to share with my audience about meditation? The card that I drew was the nature card. And I will post a picture of this on my show notes, so you can find those at Donna Doyon one, one, three.

[00:12:19.700]

So I pulled the nature card and it says sometimes all you need is to go outside, breathe the fresh air, to remember who you are and where you want to be. Nature the perfect place to meditate to find that quiet. Sit in a park, sit out on your back deck. Just be still. Be quiet. Listen to the birds. Listen to the wind blowing. It's so powerful and amazing being outside in nature. And this is something that I had not written in my notes. But this is definitely a key part of meditating. Yes, you can meditate inside. You can meditate sitting at your coffee table and maybe looking out your window. You can meditate in your car sitting in it for five minutes before you go into the workplace. I would recommend turning off music or talk radio. But if you had some music that was instrumental, that might help you to settle into that kind of quiet where you're not allowing words to disturb your thoughts, which your thoughts we're trying to get to are no thoughts of just being, just enjoying the quiet, finding peace in that quiet. The card that jumped out of the deck is the confidence card.

[00:13:36.140]

Be bold. Rise up and stand tall. Feel the fire in your soul. Confidence. This is something that I covered in my notes. Haven't gotten to it yet. We'll go there right now. So confidence. Remember, that the key to meditation. Or use another word if that one feels heavy to you and just full of these preconceived notions of what it must be. The key is to focus on finding your quiet place. Understand and accept that chatter is going to try to invade when it does, put up your mental boundaries, refuse access. If it does manage to climb over the fence into your protected space quickly and confidently escort it out. You can deal with whatever it thinks is so critical. When you're done practicing your meditation, remember, there are no rules. Trust your heart. You'll know when you're doing it right. And let me tell you, you will always be doing it right. How do I know that? Well, let's face it. If your intention is to find peace in the quiet and you take even a few heartbeats to recognize that you need that connection to yourself, to your sense of peace, to the universe you are connecting.

[00:14:51.440]

Now, when you can extend that realization to include a few deep breaths, then you're building that stronger connection. And then the more you practice, the stronger your connection becomes, and the easier it will be to tap into the power of that quiet. Moving forward. It is a practice. It's not something most people master overnight. Give yourself 30 or 60 days. Incorporate it into your daily life. Practice the discipline to develop the habit of daily meditation. That's been one of the keys for me. I wrote it down in my daily planner that I needed meditation time. It wasn't a habit at that point. I needed to discipline myself to say, yes, this is a nonnegotiable. This is important to me. I want to see if this will fill a need for me. And by doing that now, it is part of my daily routine. And I find myself focusing on quiet throughout the day. And now that I think about it, just as K Twod Liar recommended, I smile in those moments. Never thought of that before, but I'm confident that I do because it's just a moment for cell to sell, buy, sell. Some people create a quiet space to meditate, and you can do it too.

[00:16:11.630]

It sets the stage for your practice. You know when you arrive in that space that your purpose is clear. It's kind of like your muscle memory and your mental programming take over. They recognize the setting and they know the expectation for what will happen there. It's kind of like when you walk into your favorite coffee shop, a library, or even your workplace, your body and your spirit. They respond to those locations. I don't have a set space to meditate. I love the idea of it. And I've started to build little alter spaces in the past, and I have a problem with the word altar, kind of like I do the word meditate, but that's my problem. If you struggle with that too, know that you're not alone, but you may want a special space. I don't have one because I tend to be very much a rule follower. So if I feel like there are some rules in place, then I am going to want to follow them. And that causes limits for me. And meditation should be a practice that you enjoy. Without limits, there are no rules. Even the smile rule is more of a guideline.

[00:17:18.910]

This is your chance to connect with your inner being, to find quiet. Your goal may be to connect with your higher power, with your Guardian Angel, or it could be just to release some stress. There are no rules. You can't do it wrong. Have confidence that you cannot do it wrong. However, if you would like a sacred space and to create an environment that supports and nurtures your meditation practice, then go for it. Taking items from nature is a wonderful way to fill this area. You may have stones, you may have feathers, pieces of tree bark. There are so many beautiful things in nature. Inviting those into your space will help you to connect deeper with just the world, with the universe. Karen Kremer, metaphysical nurse, she talked about meditation in a Facebook Live, and I'll put a link to that in the show notes. But she also added the recommendation of consider what your current level of stress or anxiety is before you start meditating. Rated on a scale of one to ten is it really off the charts or are you feeling like you're in a good place? This is something that's also done.

[00:18:34.250]

If you practice emotional freedom technique or tapping before you start the session, you rate your level of stress and then you do several rounds of tapping and then you reevaluate your stress level and if you're still experiencing a high level of anxiety about it, you tap for a few more rounds and Karen recommended giving this a try. When you're meditating, what level of anxiety are you experiencing before you sit down to enjoy these few moments of quiet? Enjoy the few moments of quiet and then reevaluate and see if you notice a difference. Now remember, meditating is a practice so it may take a little bit of time many sessions before you start to feel the noticeable results in the way that you're breathing, in the way that you're feeling, the way that you're experiencing this activity. But I do encourage you I challenge you to give it 30 days or 60 days of daily practice. You could be crawling into bed at night and saying, oh, crap, I didn't meditate and you can lay there and just be quiet. Chew those voices away that are trying to invade your quiet time. And yes, you may drop off to sleep.

[00:19:49.360]

What a heavenly way to drop off to sleep. Meditation is a powerful healthier habit to develop. If it's one you've tried to develop before but you haven't been able to stick with it or if it's something you think you would need help developing. I invite you to check out my healthier habits foundation self study course or if you like my energy, then I encourage you to consider working with me one on one. You can learn more about both of these options on my website, donadoyon.com in the children's story the ugly duckling and in my version, the ugly duckling needed to settle down to have quiet in order to see her truth, it's hard to figure out where you're going or what you're doing when you're so busy going and doing that you're not considering your destination or your intention. When you take time to be quiet, when you take time to reflect, when you find peace in the quiet, that's one key to finding your way.

[00:20:55.010]

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of finding my way. If you like what you just heard, I hope you'll stop by my web address. Donnadoyon.com that's vonnaboyon.com for a visit. Feel free to bring along your friends and colleagues. You can listen to past episodes from the podcast Cast tab. The music for this podcast is called Drifting Upstream by Hyson.

Easily download episodes to your mobile device

Be sure to click on the active player.

The music for this podcast is Drifting Upstream by Hyson. The music was slightly remixed and fit to needed duration.
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0


Join the conversation!

I've created a safe space to share your thoughts, insights, and ah-ha moments around the topics covered in this podcast.