As I sit here at the keyboard, I am feeling stuck. It isn’t the blank screen in front of me that is off-putting. It isn’t the dreaded and feared “writer’s block.”
No. What is keeping me stuck is my natural tendency to overthink things.
It’s been 20 years since I self-published a collection of inspirational stories. These were creatively written and Divinely inspired. They came into existence through sometimes hard and always meaningful work.
My dream way back then (to be embarrassingly honest) was to publish a weekly column like Erma Bombeck. Rather than being humorous though, my focus was on inspirational wisdom. The Chicken Soup for the Soul books offered proof of concept for the idea.
But after I published my book Glow: Renew Your Spirit & Release Your Inner Beauty, I just... stopped.
Over the years, I’ve started and stopped writing several times. I was never able to settle into the consistent writing pattern that I had back in the late 1990s.
Desire to earn money from my writing. Desire to be invited to speak from my writing. Desire to be acknowledged for my writing. Desire to be financially free because of my writing.
All that desire came with a lot of baggage.
And so I stopped.
Now I find myself wanting to recapture the magic of that type of divinely inspired writing.
Yet the dragons of Overthinkland breathe their flames of overwhelm at me. The heat from their fiery exhalations burns my eyes and sears my skin. I recoil and withdraw to safety.
I can’t see. I can’t focus. I am empty.
The dragons keep me from my treasure.
Once upon a time, I found joy in writing.
Now, the joy of writing eludes me.
It’s a chore. It’s a requirement. It’s a tool I must use to attract my ideal clients.
This tool requires me to choose keywords so the search engines will send people my way.
I fall down a long, boring, and complicated rabbit hole.
I have fallen down this rabbit hole many times over the years. I do not find Wonderland. I do not meet the Cheshire Cat. It does not inspire me to write.
Just before sitting at the computer today, I attempted to find keywords related to my topic. I wanted to write about the fun adventures Earl and I have experienced this week. The keyword search sapped all the fun and amusement out of me.
I wonder what Erma Bombeck would have used for keywords. Are personal essays supposed to be search term rich? Yet if they aren’t, how do people discover them?
I may need to learn to dance with that dragon one day. But today is not that day.
As I wrote my first draft of this story, my vibration dipped deeply into the realm of frustration. Tears pooled in my eyes and eventually spilled down my cheeks. I allowed the tears to flow. They were cleansing.
Once finished, I paused for a few moments.
Then I scrolled to the top of this document and read what I’d written. I made changes. I felt my heart lift.
I was writing.
The question I had been fixated on (What is the purpose of writing this weekly blog post?) became irrelevant.
I was writing.
I was writing from my heart.
I was writing for the people who want and need to read my style of writing.
Abraham-Hicks tells us that once we have our energetic vibration where it needs to be, our audience will find us. I believe this. I trust this.
The dragons of Overthinkland may know something about search engines, hashtags, and other means to help my readers find me. But as long as that process continues to zap my energy, I will not force myself to use it.
I don’t know if search engine keywords will ever find their way into my titles or writing. For today, I am just happy I was able to complete this column.
My process is messy. It was full of indecision and irreconciliation with content creation standards. I am going against THE flow by going with MY flow.
My flow allows me to share my unique perspectives and wisdom with the people who are ready to hear it.
This is action. The Universe will accept this attempt. And perhaps this is my lesson.
Just because I’m not sure how, why, or what to do… I must do something.
That felt like a long way to get to a simple message. But it feels right to me. And that is all that matters.
Until next week,