Donna Doyon
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  • Ep144: Negotiating with My Higher Self

An intuitive "hit" is guiding me in a direction I don't want to go. Instead of accepting that guidance, I'm in the process of negotiating a new contract.

Have you ever done this?

Read the Transcript

Note: This is a computer-generated transcript. That means it's pretty good, but not perfect. If you read something weird or confusing, first laugh, then use the time stamp to hop into the podcast to find out what I REALLY said. 🙂

[00:00:02.950] - Speaker 1

Welcome to another episode of Finding My Way, a podcast dedicated to sharing the scattered thoughts and muddled musings of the 50 something year old woman. Each week I'll share my experience, experiences, challenges, doubts and fears, as well as the lessons I've learned that keep me moving forward toward my dreams. And yes, this is the podcast that was formerly known as Reflections of a Recovering Ugly Duckling. This is episode 144 and I'm your host, Donna Doyon.

[00:00:36.050] - Speaker 1

If you've been a long time listener of this podcast, you know that I have gone through a couple of branding changes where I've changed the title. It started out as Reflections of a Recovering Ugly Duckling. At the 100 episode point, I decided that I was ready for a change to mix things up a little bit. For a few episodes, it became Healthier Habits for Your Mind, Body and Business and that didn't last very long. And then finally I settled into Finding My Way. And now I am receiving some insights, some guidance from my guides that it was time for me to end this podcast. And if you can imagine, my resistance jumped way up and I thought, no, I love doing this podcast. It's a creative outlet. It's a way for me to share what's going on internally, to hopefully guide.

[00:01:32.610] - Speaker 1

You and give you the courage and the strength to look at the things that are going on internally in your own life so that you can make the best decisions for yourself. And so I felt for the past few days because I got this kind of intuitive hit last weekend. I'm recording this on a Friday morning. So I got this intuitive hit last weekend. And all week I have been kind of arguing is too strong of a word, but let's say, trying to negotiate with my higher powers. Kind of like that teenager who's saying.

[00:02:09.020] - Speaker 1

Mom, let me stay up later, I want to negotiate my bedtime because I really enjoy doing this podcast. But I will tell you that I have noticed that, well, at least I'm feeling like I'm always saying the same thing over and over again, just slightly different slants. And I am not discounting the importance of these messages because I think that consistency and routine and paying attention to our habits is so important. And we do need frequent reminders to do what we know that we could be doing for ourselves to improve every aspect of our life. But there is some part of me that is saying it's time for this to end. About a month ago, I had an idea for a book series that I really would like to write. There are paintings I want to paint, and there are jewelry type things that I want to make. Creative, spirit infused trinkets, for lack of a better word. There are just so many things I want to do. And when you want to add something new to your life, something has to give. Something has to go. And perhaps it is this podcast. I'm just not quite ready to accept that finality yet. And so as I said, I'm kind of negotiating with my higher powers now.

[00:03:31.100] - Speaker 1

I have had my eye on a few milestones. One I just passed and one that I'm approaching. So the milestone I just passed, well, that this podcast just passed was reaching or having 25,000 downloads. Now that doesn't mean that 25,000 people have listened to this podcast. What it means is that for the 143 episodes that have been published, spread over many people, they have been downloaded a total of 25,000 times. And it's just a vanity metric. I really don't know what it means. I don't know how many episode downloads most podcasts have.

[00:04:14.730] - Speaker 1

Some of the bigger ones there's millions and millions of downloads. But for a small, independently produced, personal journey, self help type podcast like this, I don't know what is typical. I don't know if that would be considered good or bad or indifferent. And it's never really mattered to me. But as I've watched my numbers change and grow over the months, it was a number that stuck in my head of, oh, I wonder when I'll hit 250 downloads.

[00:04:43.980] - Speaker 1

So I've hit that. Our podcast has hit that an another metric, a vanity metric is approaching 150 episodes. So that's still six episodes away. And when I got this intuitive hit saying it was time to stop this podcast, one of my first thoughts was, but I'll never make it to 150 episodes. And that inner voice in my head is telling me it doesn't matter, it's okay, it's time for it to end. But I'm not ready to let it go yet. I reached out to a couple of. friends who are spiritual in nature and they said, you know, listen to your guides. Trust your guides. Maybe there's something better waiting for you. And while I believe that and I know that there's still this little child inside me that's negotiating with Mom and Dad and saying, Please, isn't there a way for me to keep this puppy?

[00:05:43.550] - Speaker 1

This week I have been kind of working with my guides, trying to wrap my head around giving up this podcast. I have created and published already 143 episodes. I still enjoy doing it. But again, I admit that I feel like I've fallen into a rut. I don't know that there's anything new for me to discover at this point. Oh, and one thing that happened. So I pulled an Oracle card to get some guidance to help me deal with this and process this. I went to my very first Oracle card deck called Nature's Whispers. I shuffled it and I got into.

[00:06:22.580] - Speaker 1

That quiet place where I see just Lightness within my mind and I pulled a card and it was the culmination of a vision card. Yeah. And I'm thinking, this is the sign. This is the confirmation I was asking for. And yet I still couldn't let it go. I started playing around with the insight that I was getting from that card. I will put a picture of it with the show notes that you can see at Donadoyon Comfort. So the Culmination of Vision card. It has this beautiful, huge, ancient tree and there's a face looking out at it and the face is seeing butterflies that are flying away. And then there are two women standing beneath the shade of the tree. While one is standing, the other is sitting there and they're looking out at mountains and a Lake. Kind of my favorite hiking, outdoor situation scenario vision. But my eyes were drawn to the woman in the tree and she's watching the butterflies. And I'm thinking, transformation. Maybe one vision of this podcast. It's time to let it go. Release it into the world so that it can transform into something else. So then I started asking my guides what type of transformation would be worthy enough. Oh my gosh, I just had a hit. So as I was shuffling my cards to get some clarity and information about the podcast and I pulled the culmination of a vision card or culmination of vision card.

[00:08:10.320] - Speaker 1

Another card had called to me in the deck. It hadn't flipped out. But as I was reaching through the deck for the card that I wanted, there was one that kind of caught on my finger or something. I had a paper cut or something. And that card was or said, you are worth it. And that card. I'll put a picture of this on the website as well. Donnadoyon Comfort. And that card has a woman sitting on kind of a beach, but it's kind of a grassy viny area and there are candles around her. There's a row boat on the beach, and then there's a sailboat sailing off into the sunset. It looks like, but the sunset is more like a flower. So anyway, tangent ended. So when I just said that I was looking for a transformation that would be worthy of keeping the podcast. And then you are worth it was.

[00:09:06.270] - Speaker 1

The other card that I had pulled You are worth it. Not me. You are worth it. And after pulling that card and opening myself up to the possibilities, I realized all of these podcast episodes have been very introspective. They have been my way of finding my way. And I have been sharing what I've been thinking so that, you know, if you are thinking the same type of things, you are not alone. You can find your way. The answers are within you. But perhaps what I need to do is change the tone and my voice in these podcast episodes to be more about you. Instead of being so introspective, I need to become more retrospective. And to be honest, until I Googled it this morning, I didn't even know that was a real word. I just thought I was taking intro and extra, like introverted extroverted. But that's what I need to do because I'm so good at being introspective, of finding my answers within. But perhaps my power and my gift is really in helping you to become more introspective. And in order for me to do.

[00:10:23.070] - Speaker 1

That, I have to become more introspective. This insight came yesterday. I was meeting with a friend, and I was telling her that I was getting this intuitive hit that it was time to stop my podcast. And we were talking about the pros and the cons from more of a business, whatever venture type perspective. My podcast has been my voice for. almost three years now. It's my, quote, unquote platform for reaching people. And she said, it would be sad to throw that away.

[00:10:55.170] - Speaker 1

And I said, But I'm always talking about what's going on in my life, and my goal is to help people apply that to their own life. And she said, But Donna, not everyone is so good at connecting the dots. And maybe you need to be more blunt with step by step processes for people to connect their own dots. And I realized that that may be where I need to go. That may be the direction I need to go in.

[00:11:23.630] - Speaker 1

And so this week, I ask you, I invite you, I encourage you to start making our relationship more of a two way thing. Instead of you being able to see inside of my head, I invite you to share a little bit of what's going on in your life. I don't know exactly how this will turn out. I don't know if I will continue creating this podcast past episode 150. I will definitely do a this is the end type podcast if it comes to that. But what I'm really excited about at this point is the opportunity to start helping you connect the dots in your life. So I invite you to go to my website,, connect and share what's going on in your life. What are the challenges you're facing? What's holding you back?

[00:12:15.590] - Speaker 1

Ask me questions. Let's turn this into a question and answer for them. Let's find out what your circumstances are. I'm thinking Dear Abby, Dear Ann Landers, those types of things, those columns popped into my head. So if you like my energy and the things that I've been sharing, if they make sense to you, but you want a little bit of personalized help.

[00:12:38.710] - Speaker 1

Reach out to me and share what you need to know for me to share in this podcast. So again, go to donnadoyon. Comconnect Or if you just want to send me an email, email me at and the things that are going on in your life. That's what will determine the direction and the future of this podcast.

[00:13:05.390] - Speaker 1

And before my next episode is released, I will be changing the name of this just slightly to Finding Our Way and it's going to be a podcast for all of us who are Wanderers on this path of life who are looking for a little bit of guidance a little bit of support and a little bit of encouragement. I want to provide that for you so I am looking out to you. And I am asking you for your help. I don't want to put the pressure of saying that the future of this podcast depends on you, but it kind of maybe does.

[00:13:39.370] - Speaker 1

I'm still working with my higher powers. to find the answers and the solutions. This feels like a good fit. It feels like the next step in my journey and whether I continue on. This path via this podcast or some other way, I do know that the path involves becoming less introspective and more extraspective. So if I can help your journey of finding your way, especially in the areas of walking, weight loss and whatever ventures and of course, personal relationships, boundaries and self responsibility are key factors in those areas, I do hope you'll reach out to me. Let me know how I can help you. You can contact me at, connect or email me directly., I will not be publishing a podcast episode next week. So the nextepisode will be published on Tuesday, October 1 and until then I'm going to be out playing, exploring and allowing what's to come next for me to start finding its way. If you'd like some help finding your way, you can tap into my energy, insight and intuition by sharing your situation and asking your questions. I'll respond on a future podcast episode. You can connect with me via email at or Donna forward slash connect the music for this podcast is Drifting Upstream By Hyson.


Show Notes:

I'd like to put my energy, insight, and intuition to work for your greater good. Share what's going on in your life that has you stuck, frustrated, or feeling trapped in a life that is less than what you would like. 

Here are pics of the two cards I pulled from the Nature's Whispers oracle deck by Angela Hartfield and Josephine Wall. 

Culmination of Vision from Nature's Whispers oracle deck
You are Worth It from Nature's Whispers oracle deck

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The music for this podcast is Drifting Upstream by Hyson. The music was slightly remixed and fit to needed duration.

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