Ep065: Do the Trappings of Language Block You?

Note: This is a computer-generated transcript. That means it's pretty good, but not perfect. If you read something weird or confusing, first laugh, then use the time stamp to hop into the podcast to find out what I REALLY said. 🙂

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Welcome to another episode of Reflections of a Recovering Ugly Duckling, a podcast dedicated to helping you discover and develop your full potential as a unique individual. Each week, I'll share my experiences, challenges, doubts, and fears, as well as the lessons I've learned that keep me moving forward toward my dreams. This is Episode 65, and I'm your host, Donna Doyon. Once upon a time, there was a lovely 54 year old woman who began approaching life circumstances from a new perspective. Instead of focusing on logic and reason, she was opening her mind and her heart to the possibilities that abundance, attraction, and spirituality could serve her as well as sound reasoning did. Logically, she knew that any new skill took time to develop. She knew there was an entirely new language she would need to learn, new concepts to understand. She knew that with time and effort, she would become more comfortable speaking with others who were fluent in the language of intuitive living. Most days, this lovely woman felt comfortable in her role of apprentice. She freely acknowledged her lack of knowledge, experience, and training, but she felt she was a willing student until one day she began reading about Reiki healing.

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This lovely woman was very aware of her own energy levels and energy needs. She was intrigued by the concept of energy passing through our bodies and that energy blocks were a source of discomfort or pain. But as she continued to read more about this ancient healing practice and as she watched videos about it, she began to experience doubt. She began to reject the possibilities of this Japanese healing technique. Confused by this sudden resistance, she paused. Hmm, she thought, what's up with that? She reached out to her mentor with her dilemma. I think Reiki could be a good fit for me, but I feel like I'm blocked from learning more about it. The mentor listened, nodded, and then asked the question, What feels wrong about Reiki to you? The lovely woman shook her head in frustration. I don't know. The mentor assured her, You do know. Just sit with it for a while. Ask your spirit guides to give you direction. You'll figure it out. As most conversations do, this one moved on to other topics. The mentor shared that she herself was back in full student mode. Curious, the lovely woman asked her what the topic was.

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Chakras, the mentor replied. The lovely woman laughed. I hate the word Chakra. She then shared the memory of a woman she had known many years earlier. Every conversation included some mention of a Chakra. They would be talking about their children, and she'd talk about Chakras. They'd talk about gardening, and this woman would mention Chakras. Whether it was educational testing pets, even kale, somehow, some way, this woman could involve Chakras. It drove the lovely woman nuts. Well, there's your problem, the mentor said when she had finished the tale. What is? You are caught up in the language and not the concept. Huh? You are letting the word Chakra block your progress. Chakra is just a word. It's a label that makes communication possible. But if the word doesn't work for you, call it something else. The lovely woman sat with this idea for a moment. She was blocked by a word. Was that possible? Within a few heartbeats, she knew it to be her truth. Her association with the word Chakra was negative. After all, the last thing she wanted to become was someone who used the word Chakra in every conversation. She knew how annoying that could be.

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So she sat with the idea of calling it something else. She considered whether that would allow her to move forward in this training. She considered whether she could accept hearing that word from others without assigning it the emotional baggage she carried. She considered whether she wanted to allow one word to have more power than this amazing concept. And then she realized she had been caught in this same trap many years earlier over a political topic. She thought she'd learned her lesson, but apparently she had forgotten it. So taking a deep breath, she pulled up a blog article about chakras. She cringed slightly as she saw the words sprinkled through the page. Inhale, exhale, release the tension. And before long, the word was just a word. After all, a Chakra by any other name would still be an energy center. Not getting stalled by the trappings of language, that's one secret to living happily ever after. It's almost embarrassing to admit that, yes, that is my story as most of these stories are, and it happened just this week. I can't believe, but yet it is my truth, that the word Chakra was annoying enough in my memory, my association of it, to completely dismiss the entire concept of an ancient practice over that word.

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It is humiliating and humbling, I guess humbling is a better word, to realize that I wasn't even able to spot that human flaw in myself, that this presupposition of the meaning of that word, that it influenced me enough so negatively that I was able to totally dismiss or about to totally dismiss this practice. The political topic that I mentioned in the story, that was many years ago when the rights for gay marriage were on the ballot here in Maine. I support gay marriage. My problem was that I had a problem with the word marriage. To me, marriage, the word, meant something. I often thought if they could come up with a different word, I would be fine with that. And then finally, one day, because I was at risk of losing a very dear friend, I realized, and the light bulb went on and I could finally accept the truth, that the word marriage is just a word, just like the word Chakra is just a word. The concept I was very open to, the concept of people being free to love and marry and be in a totally committed relationship, that heart felt strength, that bond.

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I truly believed that everyone deserved that right, that opportunity. And it was that word, that silly word that was preventing me from wholeheartedly supporting this worthy cause. Just as I was apparently ready to let the word Chakra prevent me from wholeheartedly pursuing this ancient healing technique. So today, let's talk a little bit about the power that words and labels and images have over us and that keep us from moving forward. Because that's the problem. If the word isn't holding you back, if it's a word that has no meaning to you and it doesn't wrench your heart strings. It has no power over you, you're okay. But there are times when we get caught up in words, in labels, and because we have assigned a certain meaning, a certain emotion to those words. It can prevent us from looking at the bigger picture around what that word represents or possibly represents to other people. I also have a problem with the word workshop. For some reason, whenever I hear the word workshop, I interpret that to mean a place where I can go and receive instruction. I, in my mind, see or read or hear the word workshop, and I think passive participant.

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I don't know why. In the future, I'm hoping because in the past month or so, I have become very aware of my tendency to do this. When you hear the workshop or hear the word workshop, you probably think you are going someplace to work. You are going to implement or put into practice whatever you are learning. That's what I've learned most people think of when they hear the word workshop. I always associate it with being a passive learner. I think that the reason why I have a tendency to do this is because I still become very self conscious, self aware, very ego driven, ego restricted, I guess is the better way to put it. By the thought of having to perform or practice something in a group setting or with someone that I don't know. Heck, I even resist learning or practicing something new with someone that I do know. It's just very uncomfortable for me to try to demonstrate my skills in front of someone else. So I have this block around the word workshop. A couple of weeks ago, I did attend a workshop. It was labeled a workshop. And once again, I arrived and was told what we were going to be doing.

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I'm thinking, Hey, wait, I don't want to do this. I thought I was just learning. I felt very comfortable and supported in this group. I explained how I could just feel myself closing in, shutting down, putting up that barrier. Once I was able to say those words to express the emotions I was feeling, what a relief it was. Just that example, that instance, it reinforced the value and the power of stating how you're feeling. Once you put it out into the universe and you've given it voice, even in your own mind, you can hear... I'm using the word silliness. It's the first thing that comes to mind because that applied in that particular situation. But you can recognize the flaw in your logic or in your emotional state. You can realize that even though I feel very vulnerable right now, I am in a safe place. And so this is the perfect opportunity to be vulnerable because I can receive that support. So that was a little mini tangent. Sorry about that. But the power of the word workshop, I was resisting that. But again, I think I have my own mental blinder with the word because otherwise, if I had thought in advance that I was going to have to team up with someone and perform a new skill.

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This happened to be reading Oracle cards or Tarot cards. If I had realized, really thought about having to do that, I would have made an excuse to not go. It's to my benefit that that word provides a block for me. Now it'll be interesting in the future, if I'm more aware of, Okay, workshop means I'm going to have to perform, do something. And if I am aware of that, if I will feel that resistance to not attend at all. And then I'll have to see how I handle that should that happen. Lots of growth opportunities for me coming forward. Yikes. Sometimes it's so comfortable being in our own little world. But then it gets old and boring and stagnant, doesn't it? There are other times when the trappings of language can hold us back. We can be interested in a career change, or volunteering for a new organization, or learning a new hobby, a new skill for improving your home. Almost everything, any group of people who share an interest, they have their own language. The thought of learning a new language can be daunting. It may sound like English, but then you walk in and people are saying all of these words that have absolutely no meaning to you, or you think you know what it means, but you're not quite sure.

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I have found this to be true in the workplace. I found this to be true in the hiking community. I have found this to be true in churches that I've attended. I have found this to be true in this new, intuitive world that I am becoming a part of. It's true just in email and on Facebook and text messaging. How long did it take you to learn what LOL stood for? There are still these little abbreviated words out there. I have no clue what they mean, so I just skip over them. I'm dating myself here, going way back to when I was a teenager, and personal ads in the newspaper were a big thing. Even though I wasn't of dating age or interested, I frequently would look at these and try to figure out what these abbreviations meant. Swf, Single White Female, and various abbreviations for people who were making these ads to save space and therefore save money placing an ad. We are surrounded by these types of uses of language. Most of the time, we're not even aware that we're speaking them. Until someone new comes into the group and they're not understanding and we find we have to start explaining things, we have to start identifying what various acronyms and nicknames and short words, what they actually mean.

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Because for new people coming into the group, neither version has any meaning to them. But then it doesn't take long to catch on to this new language. So this week, I encourage you, no, I challenge you. If there is something that you are interested in learning, whether it's line dancing classes at your local gym, whether it's a painting class, whether it's learning a musical instrument, whether it's hiking, whether it's any type of outdoor activity, whether it's a political topic that you really believe in. But sometimes you listen to people and it sounds like they're speaking a different language, immerse yourself into that world. Allow yourself to learn the language. You can do it. You have learned so many languages already in your life, and each time you felt a little uncomfortable, you felt a little awkward. And then before you knew it, if you allowed yourself to stay in that situation, in that group, you became a fluent speaker. You understand the meanings of the words and the symbols and the abbreviations. And likewise, if you come across a word that rubs you the wrong way, you can identify that it has a negative meaning for you, something from your past.

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Put a different word in its place. Even William Shakespeare knew that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. Don't let the words deprive you of great things that you can learn and do. When you either the word has a powerfully positive or a strongly negative meaning to you, whether it's a meaning that you want to hold close to you and protect, or it's something that you want to shun and not have as part of your life. Try to move beyond the word. The word is just a series of letters that someone put together. It's something to make communication possible. It's like looking at a teacup and I'm imagining an old Star Trek, the Next Generation episode in which Diana Troy is working with an interpreter and he is supposed to be this great negotiator. I think I have the right episode in my mind. At one point, they're talking about a language barrier and she's having a conversation with Captain Picard trying to explain this challenge. She holds out a mug or a cup or something, and she says, What is this? He says, It's a cup. She said, Are you sure?

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He looks at it again and he said, Liquid, tea, holder. He came up with a variety of words that could represent what this teacup is. And she said, And that's the challenge because different people, different societies, different cultures will look at an object and some may describe it based on how it's used. Some may give it a name that really has no significance except that it's a name that others can associate with it. And then others may have this other meaning and representation for what this teacup is. So be careful, be aware of the power that you are giving to words. Try to move beyond them and grasp the entire concept of what's being put out there. It can be challenging. I know as I've obviously shared, it's still something that creeps up on me, even though I try to be aware of doing this. Language has great power. It can bring us together, but it can also put wedges between us. So the challenge this week is to think about the words that are becoming barriers to keep you from moving forward. The easier ones to spot will probably be those that are causing you to feel resistance, reluctance, and any form of keeping you in a place where you feel safe and comfortable.

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The ones that make you feel challenged, those are the ones to take a look at. Recognizing that a word may not be all that it seems, that's one secret to living happily ever after. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Reflections of a Recovering Ugly Duckling. If you like what you just heard, I hope you'll stop by my web address, donadoyn. Com. That's D O NNA d oyon. Com for a visit. And feel free to bring along your friends and colleagues. You can listen to past episodes from the podcast tab. The music for this podcast is called Drifting Upstream by Hyson.