Ep006: Dealing with Difficult People (when they are really only different)

Many years ago I attended a professional speaking course called CLASS (Christian Leaders, Authors, and Speakers Services). Marita Littauer and her mother, Florence Littauer, led the training. Both were vibrant, high energy, polished professional speakers and wonderful teachers.

One of the training sessions of this multi-day training class was based on their signature “Personalities” presentations. This is how Marita opened that presentation: “Have you ever noticed that there are people in the world who are different from you? Perhaps you live with those different people or work with them. While you can’t change them–even though you may have tried–you can change the way you approach them.”

That presentation, and many future hours spent reviewing other personality-based training information, changed my approach to dealing with people.



In this episode, I share some of my frustrating interactions with people at work and at home and how I manage to deal with them.

If you ever experience the frustrations of dealing with people who do things differently or don’t recognize/value what you contribute to the work or home place team. Hopefully, this episode will provide a new perspective.


Additional resources:

16 Personalities – Learn about yourself and the people you interact with on a daily basis.

8 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People – Written by Kevin Kruse, this article offers tips on dealing with negative people

How to Live with a Messy Person –  Written by Sarah Aguirre, this article offers 6 tips on living with messy people. Conversely, How to Live with a Neat Person, also written by Sarah Aguirre, offers the opposite viewpoint. Whether you are the neat or messy person, read the tips for the other side’s perspective and see what you think. Hopefully, you will start to find some humor in the situation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Take Over the World!

Memes make my day brighter. Some are so silly, that I can’t help but smile. Others are thought-provoking and cause me to reflect on my values, my goals, my choices. Still, others bring about an ah-ha moment in which the light bulb goes on above my head.

So many times I read a meme on Facebook, Twitter, or just when doing an online search, that the value of it stays with me for only a moment. Sometimes these memes bring me to a deeper, reflective level such that it lingers in my mind.

Today I’d like to share a meme, courtesy of Dr. Evil, from the Austin Powers movies, which made me chuckle–and then made me think.

It’s how I felt starting this new writing and podcasting (ad)venture. HAHA

Last week I wrote about how much I’ve learned producing my Reflections of a Recovering Ugly Duckling podcast. There was so much for me to learn about the infrastructure required to create/build/maintain a blog and podcast. And so much more I need to learn about growing an audience.

It is both scary and overwhelming. It is also exciting (and holds great promise for world domination)!

On days when I feel overwhelmed, confused, and doubtful of my direction, I think about the people who have created the podcasts that I enjoy. They are my guiding stars. They provide direction and light. They are doing what I want to do.

Then I correct myself. They are doing what I AM doing. I have moved beyond the “want to do” stage into the “doing” stage. I remind myself that they were once trainees, too. They were once learning the tasks and experiencing the doubts, fears, and feelings of overwhelm that I am experiencing.

They kept developing their skills until they moved beyond the trainee stage. They did this by not quitting. They did this by not making excuses. They did this by keeping their focus and continually moving forward.

If I follow their example, I can become a role model for tomorrow’s trainees.

What are you working on that puts you in the “trainee” role?

  • If you ever feel like the results are not worth the effort, I assure you, they are. Remind yourself of “why” you are doing it (is world domination a good enough reason?).
  • If you experience doubts about what you are doing, that’s okay. Have doubts and keep moving forward despite them.
  • If people tell you you’re crazy for following your dream, don’t listen to them! I shared some tips on dealing with naysayers (whether real or imagined) in my podcast Episode 001: Inner Voices.

We can move beyond the trainee stage into the competent producer stage and then into the  I-can’t-believe-I’m-an-expert stage just by keeping it real, keeping it fun, and keeping it going. At that point, world domination is inevitable.

If you could dominate the world, what would the world be like? Share in the comments below.

 

Ep005: Celebrate Being Over Fifty with a Positive Body Image

Many women do not have a positive body image. But did you know that a negative body image can actually be harmful to your health? It can lead to depression, anxiety, a feeling of not being good enough or not belonging?

We can try blaming our challenge with negative body images on the media and we can try to blame it on society, but I think we need to look a little closer to home. We need to take a close look at the person in the mirror (and I don’t mean your spouse, child, or pet standing behind you!).



Many times the focus on body image is applied to teenagers–especially girls. Experts talk about the changes a girl’s body is going thru as she develops breasts, starts her period, and hair grows where it didn’t before.

Women our age also experience body image challenges as our once perky breasts sag, our waistlines expand (even if we have not gained any weight!), and our hormones wreak havoc with our sense of femininity when our reproductive system closes for business.

I encourage you to remember that our body image is not necessarily what we see in the mirror. It’s not necessarily what other people see when they look at us either. Our body image is what we see in our head and feel in our hearts.

In each of the pictures below, I had a positive body image. I loved how strong I felt when I was out on the trails. My body carried me up mountains! It carried food, water, and clothes in a pack upon my back! My weight and body size did NOT keep me from loving my body.

Amy Poehler's view on body image.


Show Notes:

In My Head, I’m Thin, a one-woman show by Susan Poulin. In this performance Susan shares thoughts and experiences as they concern body image. She takes a light-hearted look at a serious topic.

Episode 001: Inner Voices – how to retrain yourself to think positively and overcome the negative inner voices from your past (and present).

I love this quote from Fitday.com – “Self-acceptance allows you to make reasonable changes in order to improve yourself, but it doesn’t ask you to hate yourself until those changes have been made.”

I failed to mention the following 10 Steps to a Positive Body Image from the National Eating Disorders Association in my podcast. Oops! But I wanted to share it with you anyway, just in case you find it helpful.

 

 

Learn New Skills to Achieve Your Dreams

When I decided to host a weekly self-development podcast, I had no idea how many new skills I needed to learn!

I had a fuzzy idea of what the finished product would be, and I thought I could learn new skills as I went along. But oh my goodness, I was clueless about how much I needed to learn to do this!

To get started, I read blog entries and watched podcasting tutorials. I purchased a microphone and downloaded the Audacity recording/editing software to Earl’s computer.  I watched more video tutorials on how to use that software.

I pressed record, stop, play, delete more times than I can remember. I finally got to the point where I could listen to my own voice without cringing. I finally started relaxing when I put my mouth close to the microphone. I finally started recording what would become my first few episodes.

Post-production editing was another skill I needed to develop. A 38-minute recording full of botched sentences, rambling thoughts, and other bloopers was eventually cut down to around 20-minutes. Aren’t you glad I saved you those 18 minutes of time?

If you’ve listened to one of my podcast episodes, you may have noticed I have music playing during the opening and closing segments. Pretty cool, huh? Yupper! Another new skill I learned!

Okay, I think you get the idea. I had to learn A LOT to make this podcast project a reality. But you know what? It’s been a blast learning these new skills! Yes, I’ve experienced MANY moments of frustration, but overall, learning how to create a podcast episode has been a lot of fun.

In his book, Novice to Expert: 6 Steps to Learn Anything, Increase Your Knowledge, and Master New Skills, S.J. Scott calls what I did “Just in Time Learning.” It is a method of learning that helps to prevent those feelings of overwhelm and discouragement. You focus on the next step in your plan, learn it, then move on to the next skill you need to learn.

If you are letting what you don’t know keep you from achieving your goals, I want to encourage you to take that first step to learn a new skill. The information is out there. It’s just waiting for you to do a Google or YouTube search about it. I would bet that most of what you want to learn can even be learned for free.

Let me ask you this… and I mean no disrespect in asking it… are you comfortable learning new skills? Do you know how to learn?

If the thought of learning new skills is a bit overwhelming to you, I encourage you to read Novice to Expert: 6 Steps to Learn Anything, Increase Your Knowledge, and Master New Skills by S.J. Scott. (FYI… I purchased this ebook with my own money and will not receive any compensation should you choose to purchase it.)

One of the things I like most about this book, is that SJ Scott shares information and insight into the many different learning styles and offers guidance on how to take advantage of your own learning style. 

If you struggled in school, it may be because the teaching method being used didn’t match your learning style. It doesn’t mean you were dumb (even if teachers, siblings, or other people told you you were), it means you are different.

You can learn anything you want or need to learn. You just need to find the best way to approach it.

If you want to learn a new skill–crocheting, a foreign language, backwoods camping, plumbing, or whatever–make it a goal. Make it your mission to learn that skill.

If I can learn how to produce a podcast, you can learn what you need to make your dreams come true, too.

Ep004: Taking Advantage of the Pre-Retirement Years

In today’s episode I talk about things we can do to prepare ourselves for retirement. If you, like me, have noticed that January 2017 is already half over, you probably also noticed that 2016 went by like a flash.

It’s crazy how quickly time passes. The older I get, the faster time passes. That means that if I want to be ready to greet my retirement years well prepared, I need to start focusing my attention on those needs now!



Show Notes (additional information or links to people or resources I mentioned in today’s show):

Dave Ramsey is a best selling author, businessman, radio show host and financial guide to millions of people.

  • His book the Total Money Makeover was my guide to getting out of debt. It focuses on the 7 Baby Steps. I am on baby step 6 (although I am currently a bit short on baby step 3 at the moment). Baby step 6 should be finished by October 2018.
  • A video of Dave sharing his story is pretty powerful. You can watch it here.